(by Pablo Burgués)
Oh, graceful reader! With your great knowledge and wisdom you will have deduced on your own that if this post is entitled “Christ, Lucifer and the pet medium (3rd part)” very possibly there are two previous posts. Well, if you’re a fully-grown human being with the head on your shoulders, you will have already read those previous posts, or otherwise you’ll do it right now clicking Here. If, on the contrary, you’re one of those two-leg rats that always prefer the film rather than the book, in what follows I’ll give you a summary of what’s happened:
(Music of Game of Thrones at the background). After several years living in Ibiza, Christ Lombardi decides to go back to his native Italy. But just 5 days before his flight to Rome, his beloved cat Lucifer disappears. In order to find him he hires the services of Oda Mae, a pet medium from Ibiza who is on holiday in Hawaii. Oda telepathically gets in touch with the animal and he tells her that he’s trapped somewhere near his owner’s house. Christ combs the neighbourhood up and down looking for his pet, unsuccessfully…
Chapter 3 (and final)
Just 48 hours before the flight that would separate Christ from his beloved Lucifer forever, Oda Mae sends a new and enigmatic message: “I see something green beside the cat, look for a place with something green”.
Right after reading that message, Christ remembered a nearby villa with a big green wooden hut in the garden. Without a second’s delay, he ran towards that house and once there he rang the bell persistently. Nobody answered, so he deduced that the house was empty and, without a second thought, he began climbing the garden fence. When he was in, he went directly to the green hut and there he started to knock on the door while shouting: “Lucifer, are you there?!” But the cat wasn’t there either. Downcast and defeated, he decided to go.
But when he was climbing the fence again to get out of the garden he felt his back covered in a cold sweat… He couldn’t believe his eyes… Outside the house there was another green thing waiting for him, but it had four wheels this time: a Civil Guard patrol. Allegedly, a neighbour had listened to Christ’s shouts calling Lucifer and, frightened, she had called 112 (Emergencies, in Spain) telling that in the garden next door there was somebody practicing satanic rites.
I swear that if someday I find a magic lamp and I’m granted three wishes, these will be… Well, I cannot tell the two first wishes because we’re at children’s viewing time… but I can tell you the third: to be able to travel back in time to see the faces of that Civil Guard couple while they listened to a guy named Christ telling them that he had got into a private property because a pet medium, who was in Hawaii, had told him that Lucifer was trapped beside something green. Fuck yeah!