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IBIZA’S MOST BRAINLESS PARTY (3RD PART)
THE CRAZY 41 BIRTHDAY OF A MOUSTACHE MAN

(by Pablo Burgués)

On 5 September 1987 there was a party in Ibiza that, up until now, is still being considered as the wildest party that has ever been celebrated in the island (except for Pocholo’s First Communion). The soirée’s organizer was Freddie Mercury himself, who, knowing that one only has his 41 birthday once, decided to pay a little and well-deserved tribute to his moustache. Just a private and moderate party with 500 guests… But no, my friends, don’t let yourselves be dazzled with such number, because indeed most of the guests were very boring people who didn’t like night gibberish too much, such as Tony Curtis, Naomi Campbell, Elton John or Julio Iglesias.

Another famous guest was Jean-Claude Van Damme, whom the birthday guy didn’t like too much, but, as Freddie was a bit like a rat he thought: “well, if I invite the tough Frenchy at least I’ll save a good amount in security”. But cheap things turn out expensive, taking into account that Freddie didn’t think that with the amount of grub that bird ate along the night it would have been more profitable to bring the whole Mossad security (and even some pounds would had been left to hire two or three members of The A Team).

Almost all the dirty (and, thus, interesting) information about what happened at that party have remained secret until now, and only the most naïve details of the soirée were leaked to the press. For instance, that 350 bottles of the best Moët Chandon were opened and that the birthday cake was a copy of the Holy Family of two metres high and two metres wide.

But in spite of its huge size, the dessert was not enough to meet the glucose needs of the guests, for two simple reasons: first, the lady singer Montserrat Caballé was one of the guests and, second, due to the binge, someone threw the cake on the floor before it was served. To replace that messy cake (so to speak) the same metres of meringue were ordered, and they were decorated with the score of “Barcelona”, the song that Freddie had recorded a few months before with the sweet-toothed soprano lady.

Another curious anecdote that leaked was that the place where the soirée took place was decorated with so many gold-colored balloons that the workers needed 3 days to inflate all of them. Well, the fact is that this information alone is not too much illuminating, because to know the precise amount of balloons we’re talking about we should also know the workers’ origin… Let me explain this: if the workers were Japanese, for instance, with three days they would have had time to inflate thousands of balloons. However, if the staff were from Spain, the total amount of inflated balloons wouldn’t have been more than fifteen dozen… I’m not suggesting that spaniards are lazy, but it is well known that the Homo Hisoanicus’ lung capacity is one of the lowest in the world.

The party’s finishing touch was a lavish fireworks show, so huge that somebody declared to have seen it perfectly well from the peninsula. Yes, I know that Ibiza is just 115 kilometres away from Denia, but it’s worth saying that the person who declared to have seen those fireworks from there was Stevie Wonder.

 

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Pablo Burgués on Instagram and Twitter

Translation: Dora Sales

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