(BY PABLO BURGUÉS)  

After a year and a half repeating -at every friends’ meeting- the mythical and misleading sentence “for sure we’ll go this week” (followed by the no less dangerous and poison-loaded “don’t worry, guys, tomorrow morning no doubt I’ll phone and I’ll make a reservation”), at last, yesterday I managed to go with a couple of pals to visit Luke Skywalker's summer house, or, that is, Puig del Molins Astronomical Observatory, in Ibiza.  What about the visit? Listen, it was terrible. In fact, I can promise, and indeed I do, that they will not see hide nor hair of me again, ever. Well, let me explain. The visit was very interesting, the guides are very nice and moreover the place has a super telescope Rocco Siffredi Size from which you can see the rings of Jupiter, the limits of the Milky Way and even the eye of Sauron.

So far, so good. But the problem comes after the visit, when, after seeing at first hand the huge vastness of the sky, you realize that the Earth is an insignificant little shit and, thus, the human being is little less than tiny liquid at the universe container. This hopeful existential thought leads us to an even more hopeful conclusion: life, as in the News on Antena 3 (TV Channel in Spain), has no fucking sense, my lady.

Fine, clearly not everybody leaves an astronomical observatory in such an optimistic way as me, but what can I do? I’m the typical gobsmacked that after watching the Ninja Turtles film goes out kicking into the air, and so, after seeing the dark insides of our galaxy, I could be on the verge of buying a wheelchair and a vocoder to believe I’m Stephen Hawking.

Well, in my favour I have to say that I’m not the only hominid who has existential slumps and that, since time immemorial, the human being has tried over and over again to look for a meaning to all this absurdity.

For many people, the answer lies in embracing God’s faith, that, seen from the outside, is basically to say “no” to a lot of very delicious things that this ephemeral life offers you, because this gives you the hope that you’ll get happiness and comfort in abundance in the forthcoming eternal life. That is, what in the financial world is known as a risk investment, double or quits, trick or treat.

Other much less kamikaze people decide not to speculate with the jackpot of the uncertain hereafter and comply with short-term small minor prizes in the tangible here and now. The motto of this group of coward investors could be a bird in the hand is worth Mohammed, Buddha and Jesus Christ in the bush”.

And basically this is all I have to say about my visit to Puig del Molins Astronomical Observatory … Yes, I know what you’re thinking, you smartass, but for your information let me tell you that on my way back home I had a breath test carried out by the Civil Guard and it came negative in almost every point, so you’re very wrong about me, guy.

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Translation: Dora Sales

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