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TAGOMAGO
An amazing island

(by Pablo Burgués)

Tagomago is a little island located off the northeastern coast of Ibiza, just a kilometre away from Santa Eulalia del Rio. According to a very clever and a bit repellent lady called Wikipedia, the place is 1523 metres long and 113 metres wide, and its name means “rock of Magó”, in reference to a Carthaginian general called Mago Barca (who also names Mahón, capital of Menorca).

This small island is a heavenly place surrounded by crystal-clear waters and beautiful coves that only holds three structures: a small lighthouse built in 1913, a controversial house I’ll talk about later and… hold on, baby: the beach bar where the video clip of La Lambada was shot!

For those of you who had the decency of being born after the 80s and escaped from the several aesthetic-musical crimes perpetrated at those times, I’ll tell you that La Lambada has been the only music style in history that only has one single song (it’s always darkest before the dawn). But, indeed, the song was a real hit, mostly thanks to the naughty promotional clip where a lot of cheeky girls and boys appeared hobnobbing insanely. At that time that was a huge scandal, though now, from a distance, and after the birth of new and elegant swaying styles such as perreo or twerking, La Lambada seems the graduation ball of the Discalced Carmelites order.

But this has not been the only scandal from the idyllic Tagomago. The other trouble spot is the only house in the island, a little hut of SuperHighLuxuryBelieveItOrNotBaby that can be rented for the reasonable price of 160.000€ per week (that according to all the real-estate experts being consulted means 23.000€ per day).

Who is the moron that pays this mad amount of money? Well, poor and hardworking people such as Carolina de MónacoJustin BieberCristiano Ronaldo or Gareth Bale, who asked his girlfriend to marry him in the island, in a modest ceremony valued at 470.000€ (breakfast and unlimited WIFI included, of course). This party and other similar ones celebrated in Tagomago have started a war among the environmentalists, the public administration and ATU General Trust (a company based in British Virgin Islands that manages the house).

Apparently, the island is classified as a Natural Area of Special Interest and is protected by the Balearic Parliament. Moreover, it is a Place of Community Interest (LIC in Spanish) according to the Natura 2000 European ecologic network for the conservation of biodiversity and an Area of Special Protection for Birds (ZEPA) for the preservation of the bird life in danger of extinction. Translated into English, this means that the place is full of protected creatures and it’s very ugly to wake them up very early in the morning with very loud music, even with Despacito.

Besides Lambabas and parties, the truth is that the island is extremely beautiful and in spite of what some people has tried to make us think, IT IS NOT A PRIVATE but a public place. Thus, if this year you’re too broke due to the girl’s dental orthopaedics and the community tax, and you cannot rent the gorgeous house in Tagomago, you can always go to visit the lighthouse and go for swim at any of its wonderful coves for 000,000.00€ person/day. A true bargain, indeed.

 

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Pablo Burgués on Instagram and Twitter

Translation: Dora Sales

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